Tony Shavers III • Aug 11, 2021
Are you hesitant to speak up for yourself, even when you have a valuable contribution to make to the conversation? Using simple and practical tools like positive affirmation cards, personal development, and positive self-talk can help you find your confidence and overcome your fears.
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How Fear of Speaking Can Impact Your Life
When you struggle to express your ideas, it can cause problems in your personal and work relationships.
Even if you have great ideas and don't speak up in meetings or work discussions, it is hard for others to acknowledge your contributions.
Not wanting to participate in public speaking events can stunt your professional growth and limit your forward career progress.
In personal relationships, not voicing your ideas, opinions, and thoughts can lead to miscommunications, a lack of co-operation, or not meeting your needs.
Why Am I Scared to Talk to People
Many people express a fear of public speaking or stage fright. Still, many people are hesitant to speak up for themselves, contribute their ideas, or voice their opinions in everyday conversations, meetings, and interactions. Why is this?
Our minds are naturally programmed to protect us from harm, but sometimes, like an overprotective parent, your mind can overestimate the consequences of speaking up. If you already have a negative view of your skills and abilities, this effect can be amplified.
Some other reasons you might not want to speak up might include:
- Feeling like you don't know enough about the subject
- You feel "less than" or like other people are more qualified to speak
- Your opinion may be unpopular or not the same as the others in the group
- You are afraid of looking foolish or messing up your words
What is different about people that have no problem speaking their mind? A few things.
- They aren't afraid to make mistakes
- They don't need to be right
- They have a solid sense of self
- They can skip past small mistakes
It isn't that people who speak up don't care about what other people think, but they are secure enough in themselves that they don't let the opinions of others sway their actions.
For some people, finding the self-confidence even to practice speaking and expressing themselves in front of others can be difficult. So how can you find motivation within yourself to get started?
How Not to Freak Out When Speaking
There are ways to overcome anxiety and become a confident speaker. You may ask yourself, "how do I stop being so nervous? or how can I speak confidently without fear?" Developing your self-esteem is a good place to start.
One way to overcome the fear of expressing yourself is to practice positive affirmations. Self-affirmation can gradually change your mindset to focus on positive outcomes rather than what could go wrong.
Positive affirmation is a tool you can use to develop your confidence and resiliency to put yourself out there, and practicing speaking will come more easily.
Imposter Syndrome Anxiety
Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time in the morning. No one is born an expert. Just because it appears that someone has it all together doesn't mean they started that way. When you feel pressure for perfection, it can sabotage you. The truth is, very few good speakers began that way. Often, they got to that level by putting themselves out there, even when they did not feel fully prepared. You may see a polished speaker and think it is natural, but what you haven't seen is the rocky road they took to become one.
Overcoming Speaking Apprehension
For some people, even the anticipation of possibly being asked to speak can be daunting. If this applies to you, you may be unable to sleep the night before a presentation, and a job interview can have you pacing around the house practicing for days. So, how to calm nerves before a presentation or a job interview? How can I improve my speaking skills?
Adjust your Expectations
Your first few presentations may not be award-winning speeches. And you know what? That is okay. No one starts as a brilliantly polished speaker. If you ask experienced speakers how their first few presentations went, they will most likely point out many areas where they made mistakes or weren't happy with their performance, but the audience probably didn't notice their errors.
Even Experts Mess Up Sometimes
You may have noticed that notable celebrities make a mistake when speaking, give a little laugh about it (encouraging the audience to laugh with them), and then smoothly continue with the interview. Everyone makes minor mistakes, and no one will judge you for flubbing up a few lines. Accepting that you will make small mistakes, or even laughing at them, can take the pressure off.
Positive Affirmations
Begin to pay attention to your internal conversations. When you are in a cycle of negative thinking or self-talk, it can lead you to be visibly nervous or hesitant when you speak. However, it is possible to change this cycle. If you consistently replace negative thoughts with positive ones, positive thinking becomes a habit. Positive affirmation, the repetition of positive words, and language is one method that can help you to develop this type of positive thought pattern.
Body Language
You can communicate through your body as well as your voice. Your posture and non-verbal communication are more effective at demonstrating competence than whatever you might come out of your mouth. Some easy power poses for interviews are: to not slouch but to sit towards the edge of your chair, stand up straight, not to fidget, and occasionally smile and make eye contact.
How to Overcome Fear and Anxiety
Frequently, a hesitation in speaking up comes from a lack of self-confidence, anxiety, or shyness. You can have great ideas to contribute to a conversation, but it can be hard to share them with others if you are afraid to speak your mind.
Building up your self-assurance through positive affirmation can help you to develop positive thought patterns. When you begin to change your mindset, you feel more comfortable reaching out of your comfort zone to speak up. You can start to take on opportunities to speak that you would have let pass by before.
As you further build your confidence, you will start to have the courage to speak up more often, and each time you speak, you will feel less anxious, and speaking up will naturally become more effortless.
When you feel self-assured, you have the power to express your ideas, voice your opinions, and speak without fear.
If you're not contributing your ideas because you're afraid to speak up, Press Reset Affirmation can help you get over the anxiety of speaking so that your voice is heard.
If you're not contributing your ideas because you're afraid to speak up, Press Reset self-discovery cards can help you get over the anxiety of speaking so that your voice is heard.
References
Why Are We Scared of Public Speaking?, Psychology Today
Body Language Tips to Help You Ace the Job Interview, Forbes
Self Discovery Chronicles
Self-Discovery Chronicles is an in-depth look with topical commentary, personal insights, strategies, and practical steps to help you get over self-doubt and pursue your dreams.
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